Your Face is an Advert

Sorry about the dullness of the title but it seems that the writers of Primeval care so little that they no longer name the episodes.

If you are a long time reader of Yourface you will know that we aren’t the greatest fans of Primeval but at the same time feel oddly compelled to watch it week in and week out. My obsession with this dire programme became so great that I would actually venture into the ITV Player, which I would not recommend to any one who is weak of heart. It truly is a painful experience.

So here we have it, year three of ITV’s answer to Doctor Who (no matter how much they claim its not) and this is possibly the flattest season opener I have ever watched. Yet again an anomaly has opened up spewing out some nondescript creature from the past onto the streets of London so the Primeval crew can run at a very slow speed after it, whilst it kills a number of passers by until about 20 minutes is up, the creature gets bored, we get bored and the creature walks right into the past and every thing is A OK again.

The jump in logic and plot holes are becoming drinking game wonderful, you would be swaying like a boat by the end of the episode if you took a shot of a low alcoholic beverage every time the crew take some abnormal leap of logic. For example lovely Hannah Spearit (who was back in pants again, hoorah) yelling that ‘its gone this way’ and then walking through a skin tight gateway when we have seen the said monster is about the size of a truck. It would also have been nice if they had kept Hannah’s hair the same between scenes.

The actual story was worse than dire, some crap about the ancient Egyptians having a sun trap and its actually a stone statue that can contain anomalies like never seen before and the Egypt folk would worship the dinosaurs that came out of it like they are gods. The obvious leap of logic from this adventure is that all ancient mythology is actually from the anomolies so expect to see flying horses and creatures from days of yore popping up, but on the good side it has introduced a lovely new historian lady who has an element of Martha Jones sass to he.

Oh I could go on, but join us next week when we should be live blogging our way through an episode as we had so much fun doing the Oscars and join me as I drink when ever there is a flash back to the dull but hot one from last series dying, Hannah is in her pants, the geek one shoves in a sci-fi reference, the script makes no sense, the team are inside a building and its night but we cut to outside and its glaring day or a monster wanders the streets with out the police being called.

Now its over to you guys? Are you a secret lover of Carter and crew? Do you know a little person who actually loves this weekly jaunt into the badly scripted? Where do you think it will all end?

And just because here is Hannah in her pants.