On new year eve a group of us actually watched ‘Most Annoying People of 2008′ and unanimously agreed that the most annoying thing of 2008 was this programme.
As we were celebrating the end of the year I confess that we weren’t paying much attention so when LiLoh and Ronson were mentioned we were too busy enjoying the term ‘celesbian’ (Celebrity Lesbian apparently. Soon I shall be one) to notice the awful remarks. Or maybe we just ignored them; I can’t be sure. However, PinkNews noticed it and were suitably disgusted. Its such a daily occurrence for ignorant men to shout sexually explicit things at my girlfriend and I that sort of tune it out these days.
Which I probably shouldn’t. I should shout back and make a scene and humiliate these awful dinosaurs who think that by yelling “can I join you?” I’ll suddenly renounce my lady loving and throw myself at them. Eww. But I don’t. I don’t want to be stabbed, or followed home and raped and it disgusts me that this is the first conclusion my mind goes to.
By no means is it all men that shout things at lesbians either. Most guys don’t bat an eyelid and believe it or not I’ve had verbal abuse from women too, so there is no particular group of people (in my experience anyway) that seem to have a problem with same sex relationships. If I could think of something clever to say in this situation then I would just say it and run away, but when it does happen I feel so dirty and grossly objectified that I often can’t bring myself to.
Granted, lesbians don’t often face the physical abuse that gay men unfortunately are subject to, but there’s only so many times you can have 50 year old guys just out in town of an afternoon asking you suck their cock before it starts to affect you. Its a horrible but real fact of my life that when I go home to see my parents I wouldn’t feel safe walking around the high street where they live holding a girls hand. Not just uncomfortable. Unsafe.
I could talk around the point forever. Ron Jeremy makes me feel physically sick and Spooney is more likely to make women celibate than encourage lesbians to dander his way. The bottom line is that they are both very sad lonely men and I pity them. It seems now that the BBC is getting more of a bashing for previous instances of homophobia or language that has been used by its presenters. Now I’ll concede that some of things aren’t the most offensive, but I was horrified to learn of Alexander Armstrong’s comment on Have I Got News For You. Considering I usually find him quite funny.
Cool, attractive and rich men like Brad Pitt (who loves the gays) don’t feel the need to make lewd remarks. And his has Angelina Jolie all to himself. Lucky bastard.
But what I’m interested in is other people’s experiences. Do you face this sort of ‘funny’ abuse on a daily basis? Do you find that people respond to learning of your sexuality by making a muff diver or bumming joke? Comment comment comment, I want this to become a discussion…
What did Alexandra Armstrong say?
I think it has been well documented on this site about how I just hate it when people use the word gay to mean something negative.
It seems to me that verbal abuse towards women is more acceptable, including straight women. It seems fine for women to be ojectified and lewd comments made at. For instance when I lived in a shared house a delightful bunch of youfs would sit on the street corner and shout out such treats as ‘suck onmy dick’ or ‘how much do I have to pay to get in you’ to any passing lady folk. It made me feel a bit sad.
When it comes to lesbian ladies I don’t think that its just from heterosexual males that they recieve abuse, the way that gay men can speak about lady loving ladies can be rather disgusting at times, its as though they dont realy matter. But I think this might come from the perception that lesbianism has always been sort of accepted, it was never made illegal and there hasn’t been a ‘lesbian desease’ like AIDS.
They were talking about a world record some Iranians failed to break so he said “well on the plus side they do still hold the record for hanging homosexuals.”
What an utter twat. The BBC don’t seem to have done anything about this either and this isn’t just a throwaway stereotypical misguided comment; its genuinely frightening that he thought that was funny.
And he definitely wasn’t being ironic? Fuck.
I think I might be completely out of step with the rest of the country, as I’ve established before I’m sure but I can’t stand the writing on ‘have I got news for you’ they take good comedians and journalists, put them in the chair and make them read from an awful autocue. Some of them you can see physically cringe when they read what it is they have to say and the only funny bits of the program are the improvised bits.
As far as lesbians go I think you short-circuit some part of the old-fashioned sun-reader’s brain. Women are for frying chips and being sexy, surely you have to find them attractive because that’s what you do! I’ve never understood the traditional lesbian fantasy that is so very popular in heterosexual pornography, possibly because I know a lesbian or two and they’re not interested in men (the ones I know) so it just doesn’t make sense to pursue them. If you learn about lesbians from pornography what you see them as is some sort of horny bisexual nymphomaniac. Perhaps a trace of the Victorian belief that there’s no such thing as a lesbian remains and these idiots think you’re suddenly going to realise that you were all confused. Perhaps you’ll faint and they’ll catch you in their arms.
Also, at least half of ‘the most annoying people of 2008′ were people I hadn’t heard of.
Erm, lesbians are generally attractive in pornography becaus ethey AREN’T men. Female pornstars are chosen for their looks and personality. Males are chosen for their ability to maintain an erection. The fact that there are ugly porn stars is because they don’t suffer stage fright when it comes to their dangly bits. So seeing two actractive girls go at it, rather than seeing a guy like bill bailey gurning behind a goddess, is a bonus.
Also, a major turn off for me is the misogynistic values of these films. Some of them just seem to be “women are stupid. suck my dick bitch. yeah, you love that you slag”.
Off topic a bit, but abbywinters.com has some nice girl on girl, with natural looking girls.
And in fairneass to Alexander Armstrong, I think that’s a joke against the Iranians, rather than homosexuals. It didn’t offend me, but it’s not actually that good a joke.
Hey I didn’t hear about that remark on Have I got news for you, but if it was meant in an Ironic way I still think it was offensive, he would never have made such a remark that may have been considered racist.
And about the lesbian comments on BBC annoying ppl, it really sickened me as I am so sick of the reaction gay women can receive from men and I agree with David it’s not just straight men as there is a lot of lesbian bashing in the gay community too.
I remember when first going out in the scene years ago there where hardly ever any women out in gay bars and I had comments from guys that I would talk to saying ” oh you’re not one of those lezzers are ya?” as they seemed to want to talk to me more when they thought I was a fag hag and not another actual gay person like them! So I could see why so many gay women didn’t feel welcome in these clubs(they have more women in them now but still not many)
I also get the same abuse that you get Claire from guys when I’m with my girlfriend, we will automatically drop holding hands when we approach a group of men as you get common sense to know that these people could be dangerous to you, because if they are so ignorant to think that lesbian means you ‘haven’t found right man yet’ or that your some sort of fantasy then god knows what they think would be an acceptable way to treat you and your girlfriend on a dark street or a light street for that matter.
I am fortunate that I have a lot of male friends that are lovely intelligent cool guys, gay straight and bi and I do not feel a divide between me and them in any way and wish that other people saw this with genders and sexuality’s
The BBC have just been getting on my nerves for a while anyway as they make mountains out of mole hills and then ignore real issues.